Clearly We Are Not Thai

Himself and I had a date night tonight...we tried out a new BYOB Thai restaurant (perfect for the man whose hobby is wine collecting) and then stopped for a nightcap on the way home.  Lovely evening.  And the sitter can now finally drive herself to and from our house, even better.

This restaurant allows you to choose the heat level of your dishes on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the hottest.  We requested medium heat, and our meals were delicious but definitely spicy!  I would take the same again, but my husband wished he'd gone one level lower.  How embarrassed were we to find out after the fact that the heat number for both our meals was a 2??

And neither of us are wusses when it comes to spice.  You would need an asbestos tongue to eat a level-5 meal at this place: not sure how Thai nationals do it!

I Want A Richer Life

Yes, I know it's the 28th, not quite resolution time yet.  And I'm not into resolutions much anyway, especially other people's fitness resolutions that make it hard for me to get an elliptical at the gym come January.  But I was just reading the blog of a friend of mine, and some of her posts and pictures really struck me: she is better at living life than I am, at trying new things and finding new experiences for her kids and traveling with her family and generally not being in a rut.  I hereby resolve to spend 2013 trying to be more like her.

In fairness, she has some advantages over me, or at least some differences in lifestyle, that help her: she homeschools her two kids (ages 8 and 14), both she and her husband work from home, and she is a travel blogger, to name a few.  It's much easier to pick up and go places under those circumstances.  The good Lord knows that I should not be a homeschooling mother--I don't have the patience or the temperament for it--so I am grateful for the proximity and quality of our local schools.  A lot of her activities come through her homeschool co-op.  And my husband leaves the house at 5AM for the office and returns about 7PM five days a week, so his flexibility is limited.  I get all this.  I also get that our after-school hours and weekends are full of activities, virtually all things that the kids have chosen for themselves.

BUT.  They don't understand what they are missing, and as parents, we could still do better than we're doing.  For two people who were both already seasoned international travelers as small children themselves, we've done a lousy job of broadening their horizons so far.

Once or twice a year we could pack up and take a weekend away, even within driving range.  We could finally throw the kids on a plane and head to the West Coast to visit the family out there.  For years the thought paralyzed me because Thing Two was so difficult, but now he's past that and the holdup is entirely in my head, although it pains me to admit it.  Even if we didn't leave the area, we could make more of a point of seeking out activities...corn mazes and apple picking and shows and hiking and historical stuff, just to name a couple of things off the top of my head.  We don't need to be in the same routine of school and activities essentially year-round.  Even if we just started small with summer and built a week or two of family adventure in with the summer camps and soccer when making our plans, that would be a good start.

You see, I'm afraid that we will keep on with our routine usualness and one day look up and find that the kids are gone, that we lost that special time with them because we were focused on the day-to-day and didn't see the big picture, the life-as-an-adventure-to-be-experienced aspect of it all.  I want their lives to already be bigger than this tiny, homogeneous corner of the world before they leave it for wherever they will end up as adults.

Hence my resolution.  This kind of richness cannot be measured in money, only in quality of life and breadth of life experiences, and by that standard I hope to be much richer by this time next year.      

Vacation (Or Not)

I'm lucky to be able to stay home with my kids--I know this.  It's only possible because my husband has a good job and works long hours to support our family.  I switched from working the same crazy hours he does to working part time from home shortly before Thing One was born, then later began consulting from home.  When it became apparent that Thing Two needed as much of my time and energy as I could find for him because of his learning disability, I stopped working entirely and never looked back.  That was a few years ago now.  I liked my job, and I was good at it, but he was the priority.  Now my life is primarily home- and kid-centered: I cook, I clean, I shop, I drive the kids from here to there and back again and make sure they get their homework done.  

Generally, I'm OK with this.  It's an important job, even if it is mundane and routine-bound.  The problem is that it comes with no vacation days!  Reflecting on this during this "holiday" week: the kids and Himself are off, but mine is a 24-7-365 kind of job (at least if we want to eat and have clean clothes and not live in a pigsty.)  And arguably a holiday week is even crazier than usual for me, even without the holiday itself, just because everyone is home.  For it to be a real vacation for me, we have to leave town! 

      

      

The Reason For The Season

Got some news today that I wish had been different. Those of you who pray, please say an extra one for Mama D's special intention.

Spent the better part of yesterday and the day before at home, as I mentioned.  I went out for Christmas Mass, and that was about it.  Of course, the price to pay for such inactivity (ha! like I was just sitting around!) was a to-do list six miles long for today.  While Himself was with the boys at their soccer clinic all morning, The Girl and I attacked the list of errands.  She was outstandingly well-behaved at stops 1-9 (really) on our list, so stop 10 was our local pizzeria for lunch, one of her favorite spots.  It's family-owned and one of the few restaurants in the area, so you really see a full cross-section of the local population there.  Since we arrived at the tail end of the lunch rush, it was just the two of us and two other guys in the room; the two men were having a conversation, which I overheard only because it would have been pretty much impossible not to have done so given the circumstances.

For all that I live in a very small town, I didn't recognize either of them, which is odd in and of itself.  From the first part of their conversation, I gathered that one is a farmer--he was talking about putting in a field of oats for straw--and that the other operates a tree service of some sort.  They were wearing full Carhartt gear and heavy work boots and were probably in their early-to-mid 30s...they both initially struck me as the hard-working, tough and macho type.  Then the conversation changed and I was reminded for the thousandth time that I need to stop making snap judgments based on appearances, even when I keep them to myself.

Tree Guy had apparently been up half the night before with his two year-old.  He was telling Farmer that there is nothing like the feeling of holding your child in your arms.  That he hadn't wanted children for years, but that now he couldn't imagine life without his son.  That, if Farmer had the slightest desire to have a child of his own, he should go for it ASAP and not look back because he wouldn't regret it.  All said with such simple and evident sincerity that it touched me all the way across the room.

And if THAT isn't a wonderful conversation to have overheard during Christmas week, I don't know what is.  Stripped of all the crazy trappings, at its core this season is all about being happy that a baby boy was born--Tree Guy had it right.

It's Over

Right after I hit 'publish' on the last post, my in-laws and Matt and his dad arrived, starting up another round of pleasurable gift-opening chaos.  I sometimes wonder if my kids are irredeemably spoiled, but it's hard to argue when it is so clear that the gifts that they receive are solidly rooted in love.

I'd been concerned about dinner, because it's been so long since I prepared a full holiday meal by myself.  Those critical 20 minutes before dinner goes onto the table when half a dozen things need doing at once especially worried me--there's only so much that can be done in advance.  Bless my mother-in-law...she stepped up to fill the kitchen void left by the absence of my mother and even washed most of the dishes afterward!  Dinner wasn't perfect, but that's okay...the nice thing about family is that perfection isn't required.

Seems like an amazing amount of time, effort and preparation went into making Christmas happen...so much buildup to just one day and it went so fast.  But it was a good and happy day filled with family time and that's the way it should be.  And the rest of the holiday break is low-pressure (New Year's isn't a big deal around here), so we can actually relax and enjoy it!

And So This Is Christmas

Himself dozing on the sofa.  Me sitting on the hearth by the fireplace, the dog curled at my feet.  The kids quietly playing with their new toys in the basement.  Presents opened at the crack of six (the earliest the kids are allowed to wake us!), Mass attended, dinner preparation attended to...this is the lull before the guests arrive.  Peace on Earth...

I Feel Like There Is Something Else I Should Be Doing

But I have no idea what.

It's been such a crazy few weeks that I've become accustomed to a frenetic pace.  And this morning was busy, too, but everything to be done was at home, mostly cooking to get ready for tomorrow's guests.  And it never felt frantic, which was wonderful.  Everything is now done but the turkey and rolls, and the turkey is already nestled in its bed of aromatic vegetables in the roasting pan; nothing left to do with that but toss it into the oven.   I've been in pajamas all day...when was the last time I spent an entire day in the house??  Can't even remember.

My to-do list was done by early afternoon.  I had time to write a thank-you card and paint my nails red and take a long shower and play way too much Angry Birds and drink tea spiked with applejack with Himself and play with my children and actually relax for the first time in I don't know how long.  It was a beautiful thing.

And tonight I am going to eat a lovely meal prepared by my husband, bless the man (London broil with port and shallot sauce and roasted potatoes and salad) and listen while he reads 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' to the kids as he does every year.  And then we will play Santa and retire to our bed with our heads full of sugarplums.  Welcome, Christmas spirit...