Well, That Sucked

Yeah, I got my new belt.

But that was the worst test I've had in a long time, possibly ever.  For some reason, I couldn't buy a jump spin kick to save my life last night.  And the technique part of the test was mostly jump spin kicks.  I actually lost my balance and landed flat on my ass on one weak-side (bad knee as pivot foot) kick.  How embarrassing is that as the highest belt testing??  Way to demonstrate my skills.  This particular type of kick is never my strong point to begin with, but last night's display was unusually awful even for me...thank God there weren't too many people there to see it.  That was the only good thing about last night.

We are paired with an instructor for two-thirds of the test, and the one assigned to me was the one I absolutely dread having: the woman who appears to actively take joy in making me feel like a large, clumsy oaf.  (Yes, I know the Eleanor Roosevelt quotation about people making you feel inferior without your consent, but I'm not there yet.)  Walked out of there feeling embarrassed, out of shape and incompetent and then had to go directly to a school board meeting at which the chair was very snippy with me because we have a difference of opinion in connection with some state review results.  I was in truly rare form when I got home last night, so I was glad that it was late enough that Himself  had gone to bed already--did not want to take anything out in his general direction.  Bless the man, he'd gone to sleep on my side of the bed to keep it warm for me, so at least I didn't have to crawl into a freezing bed after my shower, although I did feel bad about having to wake him up to get him to move over.

To add insult to injury, the program head mentioned before my test that this one was the last of the regular tests for me.  Last night's pathetic display notwithstanding, my current belt level is fairly high and I have to undergo a slightly watered-down version of the black belt test to earn my next one.  If last night showed me anything, it showed me that there's no way in hell I can hack that right now, so I have some decisions to make.

Last night, I left my certificate face-down on the kitchen counter and both of my belts in my gym bag.  I didn't feel right about putting the certificate in the frame where I keep all the certificates or the old belt in the display rack.  I also really wanted to skip out on class for the rest of the week.  But when I woke up this morning, I put both belt and certificate where they belong.  I did the best I could, which counts for something.  And my mama didn't raise her no quitters, so I'll be right back there on Thursday morning to put my head down and keep working.