A Tough Lesson

My daughter Petunia is 10.  At this stage of the game, she is far more interested in dolls, art and soccer than boys, which makes me very happy.  Unfortunately, she is also an attractive, kind and friendly child (in my highly prejudiced opinion at least), which has resulted in her receiving unwanted attentions from boys her age on more than one occasion.  Nothing inappropriate, and it isn't that she doesn't like them as friends, she just has no interest in anything more (to which again I say: hallelujah.)

Her latest admirer is a very nice boy and they have quite literally known each other since her birth.  He's a few months older and the two of them played together as toddlers and have been in school together since kindergarten.  She came home from school one day very upset, as she'd discovered that he likes her and she didn't know what to do.  She didn't want to hurt his feelings but also wanted no part of any boy-girl anything with him.  She and I had several conversations about how to handle the situation, and she ended up writing him a very nice note explaining how she feels.  For what it's worth, the rule in our house (for all kids of all genders) has always been that you don't have to like somebody just because they like you, but you can't be mean to them about it either.

At any rate, the boy in question is now moping around school because he thinks she hates him.  Dear God and little chickens.  Petunia feels like this is her fault and is very sad.  I sat her down and told her very emphatically that it is not her job to make boys happy.  I explained that life is not all about getting what you want and that this boy needs to learn how to deal with disappointment, just as she likely will at some point when she's on the other side of something like this.  The idea that she would feel responsible in any way for his happiness, while understandable at this stage because she is a kind child, absolutely made my skin crawl.  She is not allowed to be mean, and she wasn't, but there's no way in HELL I'm allowing my girl to believe that she has to do what a boy wants because his happiness is more important than hers, and since circumstances have dictated that I have to start pounding that into her head in fifth grade, so be it.

The mother-warrior has spoken.

I Am SO Not Ready For This

More good news: the surgery on Wednesday was uneventful and the doctor saw nothing that concerned her.  Fingers crossed that those biopsy results come back benign also.  Man, it stinks getting old.  

In other news, we were told this week that it is realistic for Thing One to look at playing Division III soccer in college, should he choose to do so.  Most likely not D1 (says his coach, who played D1 himself and also has a son playing D1 soccer now) but that’s okay since D1 soccer is like a job anyway.  Not much time for anything but school and soccer at that level.  At any rate, that was eye-opening.  The kid is a solid player but I don’t have the perspective that the coach does, so having the coach tell him he has the potential was a big deal.

As I type this, Thing One and Himself are sitting at the kitchen table looking at ID camps, which are summer camps held with the purpose of putting HS players in front of college coaches who may want to recruit them.  As part of this, they are discussing which colleges he would potentially like to attend, so he can get himself to the camps that their coaches are attending.

Yes, this year is mostly for practice and getting a feel for how ID camps work. Next summer and the summer after that will be much more important.  But still: my HS freshman is starting to think about college and that hurts my heart. 

One Down

Got some great news tonight: the biopsy results for the weird spot on my forehead came back and it’s benign.  Hallelujah.   Not cancer, no MOHS surgery needed, not even any follow-up to be done.  Just a little healing spot on my forehead now. I’m so relieved I could sing.

Surgery for removal of the uterine polyps is set for Wednesday afternoon.  Hopefully won’t be too big a deal.  Apparently I should even be able to teach taekwondo class on Thursday as scheduled as long as I take it easy, which can be arranged.  Looking forward to having that surgery over with though...ugh.  I take my usual good health for granted, so these bumps in the road seem bigger than they are. Maybe I should make gratefulness my lesson out of all of this??