I'm not even being sarcastic. Really.
Our resident rapidly-approaching-14-year-old has become a very reliable babysitter for his younger brother and/or sister. When I have to take Thing Two somewhere right after school, I can ask him to help Petunia with her math homework and make sure she's ready for soccer practice when I get home, and he does. He's as tall as I am now (5'10") and almost as strong, so there's always someone around to help pick up the other end of something heavy even when Himself is at work. I can practice my taekwondo moves on him too, since he's only a couple of belts behind me!
And the icing on the cake? Recently, he started showing an interest in learning how to cook. So this morning, while I was busy doing something else, I was able to ask him to make breakfast for himself and his siblings, which he did. Scrambled eggs and oatmeal and yogurt, nothing fancy, but perfectly functional and without burning down my kitchen. A huge help! I think I'll keep him. :)