Paranoia Will Destroy Ya

According to his neurodevelopmental pediatrician, Thing Two is somewhat backward socially because he was still trying to figure out the whole communication thing back in preschool when everyone else was learning to play nicely; i.e., his social issues are secondary to the communication ones.  I am not entirely convinced that she's right, but his social skills are unquestionably getting better as his language ability improves, so hopefully we will eventually hit the point at which it no longer matters.  Right now, he sometimes stands too close and speaks too loud and touches too much and I am beyond grateful for the patience and forbearance of his playmates.  I sometimes feel that we are in a race against time, that we need to catch him up socially before his peers start to see him as weird and different and exclude him, which would break his little heart since he desperately wants friends.

He has kids he plays with at school, but is not often invited for playdates outside school.  I hate to think that this is the beginning of secondary social status, but it may be.  After unsuccessfully trying to set up a play date for him with one friend a few weeks ago (it seemed that logistics were the issue) I tried again with a different friend this week.  I emailed the friend's mother Monday, and hadn't heard back as of this morning, despite the fact that I'd seen the mom a couple of times in passing this week and gotten waves each time.   I have to admit that I was pretty upset by the time I picked the kids up from camp this afternoon, since I knew how hard my son would take it if this boy didn't want to play with him anymore.  But then, when I walked in to the school gym to get the kids, Thing Two was playing tag with the boy in question, and both looked like they were having fun.  Not seeing the other mom around, but emboldened by what I'd seen, I re-sent my invitation email when I got home.

This time, I got a quick response.  Apparently she hadn't seen my message.  Her son does want to play with mine, and we have a playdate set for Sunday afternoon.  I am taking the boys bowling, and then back to our house to swim.  Thing Two will be so excited when I tell him.

I don't want to be that paranoid mother.  It is summer.  People are busy and have a lot going on.  The first friend is the youngest of six kids, and the second is the oldest of three boys born in a three-year span.  There are good reasons why play dates might not work out that have nothing to do with my son.  But I am afraid for him, and my thoughts often go to the worst even if there are other explanations.  I need to work on that, because I don't want to be that mother or that person.  Somewhere out there is a good friend for my son, and if it turns out that he hasn't met this friend yet, we will find him or her.  I swear it on my love for my child.

Technology

I have no idea how we traveled in the bad old days pre-Apple.

Remember how I said a while back that we were going to try traveling a bit with the kids as part of the whole getting-them-out-of-their-rut thing?  This morning, we packed the hound off to her sitter's house and loaded the kids into the car for an overnight adventure.

If you have an iPhone and haven't yet tried the MapQuest app (which I believe is free) you need to. Really.  This morning, we plugged the address of an amusement park that is about two and half hours from the house into the MapQuest app, and got out-loud, turn by turn directions the whole way.  My 'navigator' skills are now completely obsolete.  We also subsequently got directions from the park to the hotel, found a kid-friendly place to eat dinner, and then located a movie theater showing Despicable Me 2 with nothing but said phone.  (And I have to admit that the Minions made me laugh out loud!)

So far, so good.  Kids had a good day and were so tired when we got back from the movie that all were asleep within a few minutes.  We have a suite: they are in one room together and our room is just off theirs.  And since Himself and I had the foresight to bring both of our iPads and a bottle of wine as well, we are having a lovely quiet evening ourselves now, recharging the batteries for another crazy day tomorrow before we head home.

Sure, we could have lugged maps and printouts and books with us, but it's nice not to have to.  A few small iDevices, changing the whole way we travel and making it simpler and more efficient.  Always a good thing when on the go with three little kids!!

I Would Really Like To Know What Huma Abedin Is Thinking

Leopards usually don't change their spots.  This one certainly appears not to have changed much.

At what point does a woman decide that enough is enough and refuse to be publicly humiliated any further?  Is "keeping the family together" really worth it??

None of my business, of course.  Just can't figure out women who continue to stand by men like this.  Maybe I'm just too proud, but I'd like to think that if it were me, I'd have left a smoke trail behind me long since.

The Heir Is Born!

And the previous 'spare' just got sparer.

Feeling a bit sorry for Harry, actually.  To the extent that royalty is not a completely meaningless anachronism these days, how galling must it be to think that the egg that became you happened to be released second instead of first, with such resounding consequences??  No wonder he acts out...in this era of modern medicine, the odds of those before you in line conveniently popping off before siring children are much remoter than in bygone eras.  Even  though the current heir-in-waiting does have a comparatively dangerous job...not quite sure how that got past the official approval process.

And kudos to Kate for keeping the gender secret.  You don't think they knew??  No way...that crew of control freaks??  They knew it was a boy.   And Kate made that 'slip' deliberately to mislead everyone, dollars to doughnuts.  Of all the times that you don't want the world all up in your business, the day you give birth is pretty damn high on the list, and I'm sure that somewhere she is graciously smiling at the world's surprise about the 'boy' part of the announcement.  ;)

Leaving aside all the royalty bit and all it implies, boiled down to basics, a woman had a baby today.  Wishing her and her husband heartfelt congratulations, as all births deserve.

Happy Birthday To Me, Again

Just realized that I started this blog exactly one year ago today.  Believe it or not, this is post #432!  Can't believe I've had that many things to write about in one year or that so many of you have taken the time to stop by and share your comments.  I appreciate that more than I can possibly say.

On that hot July afternoon a year ago, I was out back weeding the vegetable garden and thinking about blogs for some reason.  On a whim, I decided to try to set one up, and here we are.

Thanks for coming with me on this ride, y'all.  It's been a great one so far.

Mama D

Thing Two Just Melted My Heart

One of the (many) things that worried me about Thing Two when he was little was that he didn't seem to understand how to hug.  Not that he wasn't affectionate or loving, but if you can imagine giving someone a hug without using your arms, that's how he would do it.  Just a full body press.  We worked on "hugging *with* arms" for quite a while.  

It also took him quite a while to learn how to give a kiss.  Something about the fine motor control of his facial muscles was a little slow to develop too...I got a lot of slobbery kisses while we were working on that particular skill.  He's able to give absolutely "normal" hugs and kisses now, but believe me, I don't take a single one of those for granted!  I'm also impossibly grateful for how loving a child he is...even though we are still working on his social skills, whatever issues we have stem from him being too affectionate, not the opposite.  

Just now, I was sitting in the kitchen drinking my coffee and reading the news on my iPad.   He came up to me out of the blue, gently took my face between his hands, and kissed my forehead.  That is something I've done to him (and his siblings) literally thousands of times--it is one of my go-to expressions of love with my kids.  I've never seen him do it before, though.  He just used my own gesture on me and I am undone.  

On Recognizing Compliments That Take Unusual Forms

The Friday taekwondo instructor is a very observant Muslim woman, the wife of an imam.  She is also one of my heroes and high on the list of the coolest, most personality-filled people I know.  Back in March, she came to the St. Patrick's Day party Himself and I throw every year.  I was amazed that she came, a holiday party centering around a Christian saint and alcohol not being a likely place to find her, but she did.  And she had on a green headscarf and a light-up, flashing shamrock bracelet!  I think I commented here at the time that her mere presence was one of the highest compliments I've ever received, since nothing but true friendship would have gotten her to a St. Pat's party.

I was thinking about that during her class this morning.  She is notorious for teaching a tough class and for mixing it up every week so that we have no idea what to expect: she's online the night before looking at football drills she can adapt and coordination exercises and all kinds of crazy things.  She's the one who has us doing jump kicks over targets and leaping between hula hoops and weightlifting with water bottles and whatnot--her classes are never routine, at least!  The running joke is that we have to look at the theme of the week before we decide if we are coming to her Friday class.

Her classes are especially demanding when the theme of the week is either Endurance or Sparring, and this was a Sparring week.  Even worse, it was a Sparring week during Ramadan, which means that she was hungry, thirsty and caffeine-deprived while teaching her usual hellacious sparring class!

And yet, the class was still full: another compliment as good as it gets.