Fall woods

Fall woods

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Feeling Taken For Granted?

Last night, I'd had enough.  I sometimes feel like just the cook/housekeeper/chauffeur around here, and it seemed like anytime anyone talked to me, it was to ask me to clean something or cook something or get something or do something for them.  And invariably right after I sat down or started doing something else.  I actually took myself upstairs for a time out at one point.

The truth is, I know that I'm loved.  I know that my family appreciates what I do for them.  But they don't always remember to say thank you, or even (in the case of the kids) to use their manners when they ask me for something. It gets really frustrating.

But another truth is that I don't always remember to show my appreciation, either.  Himself is a good and loving man and I am very happy to be married to him.  I know that sometimes I take him for granted too.

Read an article yesterday about the importance of appreciation in relationships, and how often divorces result from one partner feeling unappreciated for an extended period.  It started with a quotation from William James: "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

Ain't that the truth.  Major food for thought.

So, instead of getting mad, I will try to remember to explain how I feel when I feel unappreciated, so that hopefully it will happen less frequently.  And I will try to remember to show my own appreciation more often, too, for the kids as well as Himself.

Sounds like a pair of good Lenten resolutions, at a bare minimum.  Pity we're halfway through already, but they say it takes at least two weeks to form a new habit, and these would be habits worth forming.  Especially if they help to preserve my marriage!

3 comments:

  1. "Craving to be appreciated" => SO TRUE!!!

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  2. We survive a lot with humor. We make a joke about everything, and even our fights end (carefully) with a joke. Somehow, as long as we're sensitive about how we do it, we can get out a lot of steam that way, including feeling unappreciated.

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  3. Lady Jennie, I think a shared sense of humor is one of the most important characteristics of a good marriage! If you laugh about the same things, you can survive a lot together. (One of the things I love most about my husband is that he can always make me laugh no matter how angry or down I might be.) If you can end a fight with a laugh, the two of you are way ahead of the game. And if you've managed to vent productively in the process, so much the better!

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