Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I May Not Survive Until All Of My Children Are Confirmed

I think part of the problem is that I really, sincerely HATE being told that I have to do something.  It makes me not want to do the thing out of pure, unadulterated spite, even if I would cheerfully have done it otherwise.

For the uninitiated, CCD is what Roman Catholics call Sunday school (even though it is often not held on Sundays.)  It stands for Confraternal Christian Doctrine, which factoid probably 99% of good RC folks don't know.  Anyway, the CCD program at our church is going to drive me to either homicide or high alcohol-content drink; not sure which.  If it ends up being homicide, my eternal soul will really be in trouble, since the two people who will get it in the neck are the Monsignor of our parish and the former-nun CCD director.

The Monsignor is relatively young, not much older than me, which is amazing in this day of generally-ancient priests.  He's also profoundly old-school and from Poland.  He is very much a throwback to the days when the priest's word was law and not to be questioned.  The CCD director, while apparently married, has no kids, and has not the faintest glimmer of a clue how to deal with kids.  She's also a socially awkward, sanctimonious PITA.

When these two make plans together, no good comes of it.  For example, tonight: the first CCD class of the year.  The Wednesday classes run from 6:45-8: tough for the younger kids anyway.  These brainiacs decided that they were going to open the CCD year with Mass.  STARTING AT 7PM.  ON A SCHOOL NIGHT.  You don't DO that with little kids.  But even if you must, you can make it a short Mass.  A kid-friendly Mass.  But nooooo.  A full 55 minutes, all the bells and whistles.  Morons.  And they wonder why some of the kids act up.  And of course, we had to accompany the kids and police them (this is where me being required to do something comes in.)  Growl.

And this was still better than last year: last year they started CCD on the first day of school.  At least they had the sense to start a week later this year.  Can you tell that neither of these people has ever dealt with a child who is overstimulated and overwhelmed (and tired!!) at the beginning of a school year??

Thing Two will make two Sacraments this year.  There are several mandatory three-hour Saturday morning workshops.  A long list of things to buy and make.  And it isn't even that these things are so unreasonable of themselves, but when somebody stands up and says "You WILL do X, Y and Z" it puts my back up beyond all reckoning.  And don't even get me started with all the fiats related to Confirmation...we may have to switch CCD programs before Thing One gets there.

I'm probably going to hell for just typing this post, but some people skills and a clue or two would go a long way here.  In the meantime, at least there is a large quantity of the non-holy kind of wine in my house!

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love comments...please share yours!

Preview, Part 2

(Or maybe this should have been part 1 since it will happen first.) We dropped Thing One off at his first sleepaway soccer camp on Saturda...