Friday, February 28, 2014

Please Read: Advice Needed!

Well, so much for not posting for a while.

A friend threw me with a difficult question last night and it's been bugging me ever since.  It occurred to me that NOLA might be a good person to ask for info, but instead of emailing her offline, I'm posting it here instead: since I don't know so many of the people who visit here, I thought it might be good to take the chance that one or more of you might have helpful suggestions as well!

Here's the situation.

My friend knows of an Indian woman living in West Virginia who is in an abusive relationship but believes that she cannot leave her husband because she is in the US on a dependent visa.  Does she have any legal recourse, or are her only choices 1) staying with her miserable rat-bastard of a husband (my words, not hers) and 2) going back to India (with her children? without her children??  How does that part of it work??)

If anyone can even begin to point me in the right direction on this, it would be GREATLY appreciated.  I'd love to see abusive husbands get the same treatment in prison as child molesters: after all, both prey on people weaker than themselves.


  1. There are Domestic Violence / Crisis organizations in every state, including many tailored for South Asian women in many states of the US. The nearest South Asian focused organizations for the person you know are likely to be:
    In Virginia:
    Asian/Pacific Islander Domestic Violence Resource Project works with all Asian women, including South Asian, in the DC area. They provide peer support, community education, victim advocacy and referrals for shelter, legal and counseling services. Ph: 202-464-4477
    Asha: 301-369-0134 / 888-417-2742
    Samhati (301) 229-6597
    In North Carolina:
    KIRAN: Domestic Violence and Crisis Services for South Asians in North Carolina. KIRAN promotes the self-reliance and empowerment of South Asians in crisis through confidential services such as outreach, peer support and referrals free of charge. KIRAN serves people from or with ties to South Asian countries. It is non-profit, confidential, non-religious, multi-cultural and multi-lingual. Address: Kiran Inc., P.O. Box 3513, Chapel Hill, NC 27515-3513. Crisis Hotline: 919-865-4006 (Please leave a message and a KIRAN volunteer will call you). Toll Free: 866-KIRANINC. Email:

    These organizations know all about dealing with dependent visa situations. There are special alternative visa categories for victims of domestic violence. Even though these organizations are in other states they will be able to recommend strategies, and will be able to work with women's organizations in West Virginia to co-ordinate this woman's case.

    Here is a link for a master list of South Asian tailored DV organizations in the US:

    Though women of all countries and backgrounds face domestic violence, different groups are knowledgeable about specific issues like culture, visas, etc.

    Hope this helps.

  2. You are wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this info!!

  3. there is a specific visa for domestic abuse victims and of other crimes - I agree with Anonymous to hook the woman up with support groups because it's more than a legal issue, but that link is for your curiosity. But also, if she's not comfortable approaching an organization for some reason, she could talk to a lawyer - she'd want to find somebody who knows about U visas.

    Good luck to her.

  4. This situation really hit a nerve for me because an American friend living abroad with her family ran into a similar situation in which she chose to leave her husband (not for physical abuse, thankfully) but because that country did not have the equivalent of U visas, they had to keep the separation hidden to keep the children in the same country as both of their parents. I'm really glad to hear that the US is more enlightened!


I love comments...please share yours!

Preview, Part 2

(Or maybe this should have been part 1 since it will happen first.) We dropped Thing One off at his first sleepaway soccer camp on Saturda...