For the past nine years, I've been on the committee that puts on our Town Day (and the Easter Egg Hunt, the visit with Santa, the Holiday Decorating Contest, the Fishing Derby, Skating Night, etc etc etc.) Pretty much every fun community activity run by our municipality is coordinated through this committee. For the last three of those nine years, I've chaired the group. At the beginning of November, I decided that this was going to be my last year, and I've been working on transition planning and getting all the paperwork ducks in a row for transfer ever since.
Last night was my last meeting ever. I brought celebratory brownies.
It's been a big responsibility and a lot of work. I resigned because I could feel myself starting to get a little crispy around the edges, and I didn't want to become that crotchety crabapple who stuck around beyond her expiration date. I thought it was going to be a huge relief to officially hand over the reins (and the town hall keys) to the woman who's taking over in January, who is fantastic and will do a great job.
Instead, it was surprisingly bittersweet. One of my best friends is stepping down as well after seven or eight years on the committee, and I could tell that she was feeling the same way. I guess it's just hard to walk away from something that you've helped build, even when it's clearly the right thing to be doing.
I won't miss the paperwork or the putting-candy-in-a-bazillion-Easter-eggs or the driving on winding roads in the snow trying not to wreck while judging holiday decorations. I won't miss the people giving me grief about park user fees or dog rules. I won't miss the phone calls, the organizing or the never-ending search for volunteers. I will miss the feeling of accomplishment I had when the group pulled something off well, though.
I'm not good at saying 'no' or walking away from things, never have been. This may be the only time I've walked away from something big voluntarily, but change is good, and it was time for a change.