Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Rechristening

My kids don't read this blog, but they know that I write it.  They also know that I don't use their real names when I write about them.

They almost never hear their real names unless they're in trouble, anyway...we're big on nicknames around here.  When they hear their first and last names called (or God forbid, the dreaded first-middle-last sequence) they KNOW they're in for it.  This is also true for the adults, I should add...I almost never hear my given name unless my husband is annoyed with me or under stress.

Anyway, back when I was starting this blog, I had to decide what to call the three kids here.  I do actually call my boys Thing One and Thing Two (among many other things) in real life.

For good reason, I might add.  They are named after characters from The Cat In The Hat, by Dr. Seuss.

'i will pick up the hook.
you will see something new.
two things.  and i call them
Thing One and Thing Two.
these Things will not bite you.
they want to have fun.'
then, out of the box
came Thing Two and Thing One!
and they ran to us fast.
they said, 'how do you do?
would you like to shake hands
with Thing One and Thing Two?'

and sally and i
did not know what to do.
so we had to shake hands
with Thing One and Thing Two.
we shook their two hands.
but our fish said, 'no! no!
those Things should not be
in this house!  make them go!
they should not be here
when your mother is not!
put them out!  put them out!'
said the fish in the pot.

'have no fear, little fish,'
said the cat in the hat.
'these Things are good Things.'
and he gave them a pat.
'they are tame.  oh, so tame!
they have come here to play.
they will give you some fun
on this wet, wet, wet day.'

now, here is a game that they like,'
said the cat.
'they like to fly kites,'
said the cat in the hat.

'no!  not in the house!'
said the fish in the pot.
'they should not fly kites
in a house!  they should not.
oh, the things they will bump!
oh, the things they will hit!
oh, i do not like it!
not one little bit!'

then sally and i
saw them run down the hall.
we saw those two Things
bump their kites on the wall!
bump! thump! thump! bump!
down the wall in the hall.

thing two and thing one!
they ran up!  they ran down!
on the string of one kite
we saw mother's new gown!
her gown with the dots
that are pink, white and red.
then we saw one kite bump
on the head of her bed!

then those things ran about
with big bumps, jumps and kicks
and with hops and big thumps
and all kinds of bad tricks.

When I started the blog, I called my third child "The Girl" simply to distinguish her from her brothers.  However, she has recently pointed out that this is a boring name, and she wants a better nom de blog.  In real life, I probably call her "Bug" or "Peanut" more than anything else, but since she is named for a flower, I'll use another flower (and another of her real-life nicknames) for her name here: she will henceforth be known as Petunia.


  1. Petunia! Like Harry Potter's aunt!

    heh heh. No, I'm sure your munchkin is much cuter.


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