I forgot to put on my wedding rings before I went out today. In my usual weekend state of overscheduled distractedness, I didn't realize it until somebody hit on me at the grocery store. Fair enough (and good for my midlife-battered ego!) but not at all my goal.
For a number of years I wore only the wedding band, anyway--the diamond on my engagement ring is in a raised setting and I kept inadvertently scratching the kids with it while changing their diapers. Now that my life is devoid of both very small children and diapers, that is no longer a worry. And since I love both the full ring set and the man who gave them to me, I cheerfully wear them both every day.
Himself, on the other hand, is one of those men who does not like jewelry. Left to his own devices, he would wear a watch. Period. And he is a fidgeter--he is constantly fiddling with whatever is available to keep his hands occupied while he thinks or talks. I can't tell you how many times I have seen his wedding ring spinning on a table in front of him! It's amazing that he's managed not to lose it for all these years.
He actually didn't want one to begin with--he'd never worn a ring and said they felt awkward on his hand. It was important to me that he wear one, though, so he agreed. I told him once, only half-jokingly, that his other alternative was getting the words "I'm married" tattooed on his forehead! I just figured that if I was going to have to wear jewelry indicating that I was 'taken,' per the social convention, he should wear a ring too.
Did anyone else have a strong opinion about this? Just curious...
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Not the comment you're expecting, but ... not long ago I was engaged to a polygamist. Most Muslims that I know don't wear rings (there's a bit in the Koran about it), and besides - would he really stack three rings on his finger to signify each wife? That entertained me to think of.
ReplyDeleteNow, there were many issues with us actually being together, but I kept coming back to the ring. It doesn't feel like marriage to me without a ring. It doesn't feel like a marriage to him unless he asks my male relatives to give me away and gives them a dowry, to include livestock.
How many sheep and cattle am I worth? I spent too many hours pondering that question.
By the way, I HATE jewelry of all kinds. Cannot force myself to wear any of it. I'd never wear a ring under any circumstances.
When we lived in the Middle East, I remember hearing that someone my father knew asked how many camels he would charge for me! I think I was 12 at the time. :) You are worth LOTS of sheep and cattle, by the way.
DeleteIf you would not wear a wedding ring, would you ask your husband to?
Can't envision being married to a polygamist...I don't like other women enough to share the running of a home with them! :)
Well, the man is a real pain in the ass too much of the time so I would have happily let other women handle him then. (Neither lived in the country at the time so it was never a reality. And I didn't plan to be there all the time even if we did wed.)
DeleteNo, I wouldn't ask a husband to if I don't. I don't think a ring prevents another woman from hitting on a man or him from cheating if that's what he wants to do.
Matt didn't want to wear a ring and now he feels naked without it. I think that's a good thing ;-)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely a good thing! For all his grumbling about it early on, Himself wears his ring every day without fail except when running and playing golf. I can live with that. Especially since he always makes a point of letting me know that he is taking it off for a good reason when he does!
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