On Not Judging Books By Their Covers, Again

A classmate of Thing One's has a spectacularly beautiful mother.  Her hair, makeup and nails are always perfect, her clothes the latest in fashion (plus some classic pieces from when she worked at Chanel (!) in Paris (!!) back a few years), her body toned and slim.  She is at least five or six years older than I am, but you'd never know it.  Every time I see her, I resolve to do something about my wardrobe, lose ten pounds, and get a better haircut!  She appears so perfect on the outside that she is a difficult person not to hate on principle, but once I got over the social intimidation factor and actually began talking to her, it became clear that she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.  I consider her a good friend now, as different as we are.  I'll call her Maria.

I was talking to another mother at a baseball game a few years back.  Thing One and Maria's son were on different teams that season, and she happened to be in the stands on the other side of the field from us.  The other mother brought up the subject of Maria, and with more than a touch of envy commented that she would love to trade lives with her.  That comment stopped me in my tracks for a minute.

Maria has two sons.  The elder, the one in Thing One's grade, is autistic.  High-functioning and a wonderful kid, but his medical issues have been a major, serious source of stress and grief and worry for his parents since his diagnosis.  The younger has heart problems, and there have been many trips to emergency rooms and pediatric cardiologists for him.  He may need surgery in the future.  Maria spends many of her days ferrying one son or the other to doctor's appointments all over the state.  I'm pretty sure that she would not wish the stress and fear she faces every day for both of her beloved sons on anyone, no matter how beautiful and materially blessed she might be.

In fairness to the other mother, she may not have known the whole situation.  I'd like to think that she didn't.  I'm not even sure what made me think about Maria today (maybe that I talked to her briefly at Back To School Night earlier this week), but that conversation from the baseball game reminded me that what you see on the surface of another person is not necessarily reflective of the true situation.  As a person prone to making snap judgments, I needed the reminder.

There isn't any such thing as a perfect life, anyway.