Earned this today. For the thousandth time, fell into the trap of parenting a type B child through a very Type A lens. Standardized test results came home. Math and Language Arts. Math absolutely blown out of the water--it would be almost impossible (quite literally) for the kid to have done better. He was at the very top of the top of the chart. This is his major area of academic giftedness, so not really a shock, but still a very pleasant surprise nonetheless.
LA, not so much. Above the state average and a pass, but that's it. Actually closer to a non-pass than a high pass. Now, I know that most people are better at one area than the other--Himself is a math whiz and words are more my thing--but if Himself and I had not spent the entire damned year last year working with the kid on LA, we would have been less frustrated today. We both focused more on the disappointing LA score than the rocking math score, which makes us sad and pathetic tiger parents (and we aren't even remotely Asian.) I swear to you, if I thought the kid was actually doing his best I would absolutely get off his back...it is the contrast between potential and results that is going to eventually drive both Himself and me to drink. Unless we learn to chill first. At some point wanting the best for the kid because we love him is going to have to morph into letting him do his own thing and having the chips fall wherever they fall as a result, but that is so very hard to watch (because the motivation just isn't in him, at least not now) and we will somehow have to find it in ourselves to do it anyway.
More things they don't warn you about in the parenting manuals. Makes diapers and teething and colic seem trivial. I need to post this sign over my desk as a reminder.
A pass? Sounds good!
ReplyDeleteWe all have to make choices about what we care about and what we don't, what we exert ourselves in and what not. Your son has mastered that pretty early. So long as he does passing in LA, I'd be happy. And I was a Language Arts teacher. Sure it used to drive me crazy when kids didn't apply themselves when they had vast talent, but they get to not care so long as they're doing well enough. So much of the stuff we have to do for school is bullshit really. If he gets to high school and can write a solid essay and comprehend nonfiction texts well, he'll be on track to a solid career in any field, even if he only barely eeks out a passing on those really awful and ridiculous tests.
Also, while I'd say, "Hey that's cool" about the high math scores, I wouldn't pay them much attention. They don't really mean anything. If your Type B son plays the game and does well enough, he's saving himself up for things that actually do matter and he can be passionate about.
You're right, of course. Poor kid was cursed with two type A parents who really need to chill!
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