I'm an assistant coach for both The Girl's and Thing Two's basketball teams. Hers isn't very serious. His level is a big step up.
I'm a relatively new coach. I'm also the only female coach of any team at his level at our school, which doesn't help. I signed on because the teams are still coed at his level (Thing One, in the next bracket up, plays on an all-boys' team) and dammit, the girls need some role models. Moms can play some ball too, not just the dads who usually coach these rec league teams.
The biggest problem I've had so far is interacting with the other coaches. Not that any of them have been jerks to me or anything, but they're guys in a very macho environment, a school gym. The testosterone is overwhelming and the communication brusque and to the point (not with the kids--with each other and the refs.) Left to my own devices, my style is warm and fuzzy, but that doesn't work here. I'm having to adapt, to modify the way I think and talk and make decisions and justify them (or not justify them, as the guys do.) I doubt they worry for one second about being viewed as hardasses, or about how they are being viewed at all for that matter, but then again, they're the majority and their rules apply. And I refuse to be relegated to a team mom or helper role simply by virtue of my gender.
So...I'm still fine-tuning the game I am playing within the game. Wish me luck.