Progress. For Which I Am Always Profoundly Grateful.

Thing Two has some learning challenges.  This, combined with his "my-way-or-the-highway" fundamental personality, has made for some rough years.  To put it mildly.

I thought he was the worst two year-old in the history of two year-olds.  Any deviation from routine would provoke a tantrum.  He would not do anything that we asked him to do.  I had to carry him into his preschool every day because he categorically refused to walk in on his own.  I was so very, very far beyond my wits' end, especially since The Girl was a newborn babe and Thing One only four at the time.  I was completely exhausted and hanging on to my sanity by the thinnest of threads. 

I also thought that there was something wrong with his language skills, but the pediatrician kept telling me not to worry.  Thing One was so advanced as a preschooler that I started to wonder if I was just making unfair comparisons.  I finally listened to my inner voice and took Thing Two to the speech and language center at our local hospital for an evaluation when he was about 3.  The speech pathologist told me that the tests showed a profound language deficit--he understood virtually nothing that was being said to him.  No wonder he did not follow directions.  He couldn't process them.  No wonder he didn't want to go to school.  He had no idea what was going on there.  Routine?  The salvation of a child desperately trying to make sense of the world around him.  I began to sob right there in the office.  How could I possibly not have figured this out?  What kind of God-awful horrible mother did that make me? 

Himself and I grieved.  Then we picked ourselves up.  Then we called our local school and fought for services for him.  And I am not exaggerating when I say "fought."  But we got the services he needed there.  And we also get extra services for him on our own.  This has been going on for years now, and our labors are bearing fruit.  

The experts still aren't sure what exactly is wrong with him.   A significant language processing problem, for sure.   Probably some level of ADHD too.  Possibly a spectrum-type diagnosis in the mix as well, although that is looking less and less likely as he gets older.   Maybe a sensory thing, as if the kid needed any more issues.  All of these can intersect and result in similar behavior.

I am with him all day every day.  It's hard for me to see changes since I am too close.  His therapists see him often enough that they don't really notice changes day-to-day either.  His grandparents are actually good judges of his progress, since they don't live near enough to see him often.  But I am always on pins and needles for weeks before his annual visit with the neurodevelopmental pediatrician, because she sees him only once a year and gives us perspective on the whole year's progress.

We saw her today.  She was very pleased.  We are beyond relieved.  He had a great school year last year, far beyond expectations, and her assessment today was consistent with that.  He speaks, he understands.  He participates.  He tries.  Not perfectly by any means, but he is no longer the child who raged in frustration because he couldn't understand others or express himself.  We still have a lot of work to do, and we know that. 

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel now, and it is not a train.